Yorkshire Dampcourse home page :: OOPS! The funnies page

OOPS! The funnies page

 

The OOPS! pages

Because we DO have a sense of humour - and life can be pretty serious too much of the time -  we thought you'd like to share some of the things in our business that can be described as OOPS! memorable or surprise moments.

 


 

When we were young! - 1992

 

GPT 1992

 

This photo was taken in 1992 and is of members of the BWPDA (now Property Care Association) attending a Guarentee Protection Trust meeting to congratualte David Freeman (centre front) on his retirement from running the organisation.

On the back row to the right of the picture on the wall is Martin Hughes, our MD. How young he looks!


 

 


 

Customer instructions are sometimes confusing............

YDC has recieved an order from a client containing the following instructions: -

"......remove skirting board and insult wall........."

Poor wall! What has it done to deserve this treatment.

I think that the spelling checker has struck again, and that the client wants us to inject a remedial damp proof course into the wall. I'll be checking on that, though.

Naughty wall!

 

 


 

 

This is not the way to do a chemical damp proof course

Another interesting damp proofing attempt.....

 

If you have a look below you'll see another of these "multi-hole" remedial damp proof courses in a stone wall.

It seems they let who ever did this out twice.

 

 

 

 

Thanks to Bricktie Services Ltd for permission to use this photo, which is copyright and used with their permission.

 

See what Bricktie have achieved at the PCA Conference and Awards Dinner by clicking here.

 

 


 

Turning house defects into art!

 

Art from salted plaster

The attached photo was taken in a flat occupied by an artist. Whilst stripping wall coverings the plaster crumbled away along the rising damp salt band so he has made a feature of it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Bathroom in the roof

Duck - before you enter

When you go into a bathroom you might well expect to find a duck (of the plastic kind) in the bath - well, I've got one anyway.

In this bathroom the owner must have to yell "duck" at every guest as they go to use the facilities.

If you enter in a hurry, and forget this roof beam is there, you might well get floored, and more, in your haste. In fact, could be nasty!

I wonder what Building Control would have to say about this?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

The knotweed phone call

Japanese knotweed in a hedge

Our associate company, Cook Group in Hull, got a telephone call. This is the report: -

"Just had a guy in the office asking to buy some herbicide off us to treat his Japanese knotweed  - I declined of course.

Cook Group: How have you been treating it?

Mr X: Oh, I just dug it up and stuck the roots in my wheelie bin.

Cook Group: Oh, well done, you’ve just broken at least 3 laws I can think of.

Mr X: I’d better not do that again then….

Cook Group: no you had’t, if you insist on treating it yourself, the best we can suggest is to go to the DIY store and buy some glyphosate".

 

 Dear, oh dear!"

 

This chap is going to find a DIY treatment of Japanese knotweed with glyphosate (in the concentration sold at DIY stores) to be a long and difficult process - just because the plant is aggressive and needs a lot of persuasion to die!

We'd politely suggest that he gets in someone who can guarantee to eradicate the knotweed - like us, or Cook Group. Click here to move to our invasive weed control section in this website.

 


 

Water leak in a plumber's office results in dry rot attack

Dry rot attack to timbers below a WC

 

We should not really be smug about this, but a leak from this WC system in a plumber's office (!)  has resulted in a severe attack of dry rot to the floor below. All we can say is that this toilet must not have been used by anyone for some time.

Thank you to our closely associated partner company Cook Group Ltd for passing this image to us for inclusion in our OOPS! pages.

What is notable about the photo is the image shows the classic characteristics of attack by dry rot, and in this case the red colouration of the spore bearing body, with the growth at the edges being pink tinged with colour.

Damage of this nature will require that the whole of the WC is removed and the floor below is replaced. It is also highly likely that the fungus will have grown under the plaster and up the walls. Indeed there is a suggestion that this is exactly the case, as there appears to be a mycelial eruption to the right of the photo about 400 mm off the floor. 

 

 

 

   


 

Just what do you think this damp proofing company were trying to achieve?

 6 dpc's in the same wall?

 There are at least 6 damp proof courses injected here - and at very strange levels.
 
In our office we have wondered if the installer was trying to create some sort of tanking effect using injected damp proof course fluid ???????
 
As you can see it has not worked!  - and the inside of the house is pretty damp.
 
 
For less half-baked solutions to your damp problems, we suggest you contact us. We guarantee to put only one damp proof course in a wall - and only if it needs it!

 

 

 

  


 

Aircraft visits colleagues garden!

Aircraft visits collegues garden

Imagine waking up to a crash and looking out into your garden to see this - a light aircraft had crash landed in the garden.

Such was the case for a colleague, who is a member of Property Preservation Systems Ltd.

I think the wings came off going past that tree!

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

Remember that cardigan you stored in the cellar?...............

 Dry rot fungus growing over a cardigan

No, this is not the result of an accident with a shaving foam can - but it is dry rot fungus growing over clothing that was stored in a wooden box within a damp cellar.

The box got wet and begun to rot and it did not take long for this aggressive timber fungus to spread its mycelial growths all over the box contents.

Sadly the cardigan has had it and will be consigned to the bin.

If you have stuff stored in your cellar this should only be in sealed plastic bags - and preferably not for too long without checking all is OK.

 

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nice yucca plant - shame about the injected damp proof course!!

Image dpc.jpg

Now you might be wondering why there is a picture of a yucca plant here? - and the answer is to look behind the plant at the wall.

You can see a pencil horizontal line with some holes drilled at about 150 mm centres, filled with white material, which is in fact caulk to try and "hide" the holes.

The damp proofing company that installed this should be taken outside and beaten about the head, and then shot (to make sure they never do it again).

Suffice it to say that the damp proof course is too high (assuming correct ground levels outside), and the holes are usually hidden behind the skirting board.

 

The homeowner made a claim on the guarantee, which interestingly the company agreed to, whilst turning down a claim for the plaster, which they did not do. I think it might have been a bit decent of them to do the replastering in view of the fact that they messed up so badly first time around!

Lessons to be learnt : -

  • Chose a reliable contractor, someone who knows what they are doing - a Property Care Association member.
  • Deciding not to replace the plaster, or to have the replastering done by someone other than the dpc installer is unwise, as no company will guarantee the work of others or work they don't do. 
  • Read up about dpc's and find out a little of what to expect. There is LOTS of information available on websites - not least of all this one!
  • Query work that you don't feel is right and get an explanation of why the work has been done in the way it has - this is your customer right!

If you want to ensure that all these bases are covered - just use Yorkshire Dampcourse or a PCA member as your installer - simples!

  


Just what are they trying to achieve here?

 

Just what are they trying to control here?

 This installation would have cost the poor house owner somewhere in the region of £5000 - not to mention the scaffolding cost - unless of course the work was done illegally off a ladder! But just what are they trying to achieve?

The "syphon" system, as this is sometimes called, is designed to control rising damp - and there is a lot of evidence to suggest that the system does not work.

The installer also claims to be able to deal with internal condensation too - and this will be why a line of theses "pots" has been placed at first and attic floor levels.

Both claims that the system controls rising damp and condensation are being questioned by the damp proofing industry and scientific data is being collected to support this.

At the height where the ground floor line has been installed there is probably no rising damp, as this is about 8-9 courses of brick above the ground. There is also a chemical damp proof course already installed to the bottom of this wall.

As for the ones higher up - the only thing we think they will contribute to is making patches of the walls inside colder. This is likely to increase condensation problems -  not reduce them.

 

The house is constructed of 9 inch solid brickwork, so if you remove an outer brick, you bring the cold closer to the inside, and the "pots" are open to allow air to circulate inside them.

We think that there are many better and cheaper ways of control rising damp and condensation - and that is why you should consult us before talking to the "snake oil" merchants!

  


Flood door gets in a flap!

Don't do this to your new flood door!

This brand new flood door worth over £1000 was designed (you won't be surprised to hear) to keep out flood water. This was quickly modified by the client within days of its installation.

Spot the obvious?

OOPS!  

 

 

For advice on flood protection to your property (including what NOT to do post installation!) just contact using the link below

 

  

Image phone-t.jpg

 

 


 

The Wooden Sump!

The wooden sump

Client: Why is my sump rotten?

YDC : Rotten rotten, or rotten workmanship?

Client: Rotten rotten.

YDC: Because it is made of wood, and wood and water do not go well together.

Client: So the job wasn't done right in the first place?

YDC: No, the sump should be concrete or a plastic sump designed for the purpose.

Client: Can you fix this for me?

YDC: Yes, of course.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

If you have a case of rotten rotten-ness (or indeed rotten workmanship), contact YDC, and we can fix it for you.

   

 

 

 

 

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